There was this FB post that says, “Changeyour facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday(Dec.6) there should be no human faces on facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is for violence against children”, which prompted me to google the first cartoon character from my childhood that came to mind. It was the Smurfs. Those little blue creatures in white turbans that lived in mushroom-like houses were one of my favorites 25 years ago. I used to watch their show with my cousin, Queenie. However, right after I published my new profile pic, my friend Bechay commented on my profile. She told me she also used to like and watch the Smurfs when she was little. Then she asked me about the other cartoon characters when we were kids. The ones with the rainbow. I asked her if she meant the Care Bears or Rainbow Brite.

Rainbow Brite. She was that little girl in pony tail that wore a rainbow painted dress with big shoes to match. I googled up images of her and what magical feelings they evoked in me. It was great to be reminded of that one thing that made childhood such a wonderful memory.... or so it seemed.

Rainbow Brite reminds me of something that had been kept in the corners of my sub-consciousness for so long. Here is the story.

I was, I think in first grade that time when Rainbow Brite was such a big hit. In school, a lot of kids had Rainbow Brite stationeries and sticker books. One day, a vendor came into class and showed a Rainbow Brite Sticker Book. I couldn’t even remember if that vendor was a he or a she. All I can remember was that ultimate desire to own a booklet, which siege me the whole day. The same ultimate desire that led me to lie to my parents --- an act that is haunting me until this very day.

When I got home, I told Tatay and Nanay that the booklet was a class requirement. It cost around P20.00. And at that time, such amount was hard to earn. I could still remember seeing Tatay ramaged through his pockets for coins and Nanay breaking her piggy bank just to come up with P20.00. The next day, I got my very own Rainbow Brite Sticker Book with some free stickers to start with. I felt so happy. I didn’t even remember caring about the disappointed look at my parents face when they saw what kind of booklet I bought.

But now, 23 years after, I feel this heaviness in my heart just thinking about what I’ve done. I wish I could turn back the time and take back that act. I know I should forgive myself. After all, what can one expect from a 6-year old? Still, I feel guilty. And since I may never get rid of that guilty feeling, I chose to be consoled my this thought:

Rainbow Brite proved me how much my parents were willing to go through just to give me the things that I need. She showed me how much I was being loved. 12.01.2010

I never was a Pacman fanatic—and that, despite being a true-blooded General. I was one of the unpopular few who bet on each of his passed opponents and smirked at his guts when he ran for a mayoral seat in our city. Now, as I watch him on screen, talking about the provincial hospital he plans to put up in the Province of Sarangani, I wonder if I was wrong not to vote for him three years ago. I wonder if Gensan might have been a whole lot different --- and better if it had been him who won.

I must admit that his victory over Antonio Margarito earned my respect and admiration over his skills as a boxer. That last match was the only fight I’ve watched from the very beginning to the last seconds. What’s more surprising was that, it was the only fight that I’ve rooted for him so passionately, I literally felt jitters and held on to my seat at the start of every round. I couldn’t exactly point out what brought about such change of heart. (Maybe it was because I was watching it in the company of non-Pacman fans and their almost scathing remarks on my “kababayan” got through my skin.) My brothers-in law were rooting for Pacman’s lost, claiming that he had finally met his match. I kept telling them that the Pacman couldn’t loose. After all, the whole world is practically praying for his victory (well, save those who were on the Tihuana’s side, my brothers-in law included). And yes, as it turned out, Pacman once again showed everyone he was still a force to reckon with inside the boxing ring. Judging from the way he trained (which was covered and aired several times before the fight), I have expected him to win it. I think those Freddie-Roach-remarks about Manny being distracted and not being at his best during his training were just tactics to deceive the opponent’s camp and to bring the people’s excitement on a higher level.

After the victory, Pacman arrived in the country with a grand welcome. He is now a congressional representative and seeing him in his expensive suit with his all made-up wife, Jinkee at his side, walking down a red carpet amidst flashing cameras and giddy fans, I couldn’t help but think, how in the world was a three-year-older-than-me undergraduate become one of the country’s congressman?! While Manny is rubbing elbows with politicians and famous people, I, who went through college in flying colors, am in the company of debit/credit memos, balancing the day’s transactions—working it out for a bank whose top ranking officials don’t even know I exist. While Manny Pacquiao, a guy who hasn’t even finished secondary school was reading a speech written for him by some unknown person in the congress hall, I, a once-student debater and editor-in-chief of the university’s student publication, am printing the end of day reports. The farthest I could get my articles published is my very own blogsite whose readers is limited to close relatives and friends (even so, they don’t even bother to check for updates until I tell them to do so). While Manny earns millions from endorsements, I have to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week just to support my daughter’s monthly expense on formula and diapers. Life couldn’t get more ironic than that huh?! But wait!....While Jinkee Pacquiao lavishes on her diamonds and ultra-chic designer clothes, I, a once-beauty pageant finalist, settles down on cheaper online fashion dresses and fancy jewelry. Jinkee now graces magazine covers and huge tarpaulins, while the farthest my pictures get to be in print are our family albums, which are rarely seen and neatly stacked in our cabinets. I can laugh at this irony. But I couldn’t. Realty bites, don’t’ they say so? Come to think of it, I suddenly am beginning to realize that Manny Pacquiao’s unpopularity inside my heart is cause by my own selfish pride and no doubt, envy. I guess that I have viewed Manny (and his whole family) as inferior because of the scarcity of his educational attainment. It was hard for me to accept that “someone” like him could get as far as he has. He doesn’t have the right diction. He couldn’t even come up with a single flawless statement in English. I have always thought that those who are wealthy --- those who get rich and famous should be good in diction and pronunciation. They should be smart and fluent speakers. They shouldn’t be Manny Pacquiao or Jinkee or Dionisia. As I watched Noli De Castro interviewed Manny, a voice inside me taunted, --- “You are damn wrong, baby. Undergrads and non-eloquent people could get rich and famous too. Heck, they could even become politicians… look at that man on TV!”

I am aware that despite Manny’s popularity, there are still so many people, most of them Filipinos, who feel the same way I do. We laugh at Manny’s speech defects and Dionisia’s lack of elegance and grace. But come to think of it, if one just listens to their answers on the questions hurled at them by experienced journalist and showbiz hosts, I say that despite their handicap, the Pacquiaos are at their best – and that is, being just the way they are. No pretenses. No airs. Call me blinded by my newfound empathy towards them, but they are to me, a picture of truth in the midst of fallacies and conspiracies in our politics and show business. I know Manny is being truthful when he said he wanted to help the people in his district. I know he meant it when he said he would offer help to the Filipino athletes. I know he was speaking from his heart when he said he was against the Reproductive Health Bill. Call me mushy but he struck a cord in me when he said he doesn’t want his kids to do boxing, knowing how hard it was for him to get where he is now and knowing that not everyone gets to be as lucky as he is. That was spoken as a father, and though grudgingly, I admit that it made me see him in a whole new light. The Pacman does have a heart… and it beats just like mine. It beats for the common people. It believes in the abilities of every Filipino athlete. It has high regards for what is moral. It loves those who have been there ever since. ----- And all that, even without a college diploma to boast of.

I still have my doubts over Pacman’s ability to get everything he promised done for the people of Sarangani, though. But who knows, maybe one day, I’ll wake up with a whole new perspective on him as a public servant. For the mean time, I will just have to be content that I have finally changed my perspective on him as a boxer… --- and most of all, as a person. 11.26.2010

I’d be honest about it. Becoming a parent is the most sacrificial role God had given me. I’d be a fraud if I’d say it had been all roses and no nails parenting Alee for the last 15 months. And this I feel despite not being able to be with her all 24 hours of the day. It would be pure lie to say that I love every minute of waking up in the wee hours from a deep sleep for her feeding, enjoy every sleepless night each time she has colds, or beam with joy while trying to appease her after the nurse put her on IV during those times she was admitted to the hospital.

I have always pushed away those thoughts that would lead me to think of the good times I've had had before Alee came to my life. But they almost always come creeping up on me on times I least expect them to. For instance, there's this new book shop at the mall and being the bookworm that I am, I took a quick detour on my way to the grocery to get a glimpse of those attractive book covers lining the shelves. I was so overwhelmed to see so many works of my favorite authors that what was originally a quick glimpse became a long read over many book teasers. I spent around an hour and a half going over the shelves. Then I realized I had to move along. The grocery would close in 15 minutes. If I’d been single, I wouldn’t have to rush. I could have stayed on browsing over the shelves, losing myself on those crisp pages, and most of all, buying a book or two. But gone were the days that I could do that. Books have long been stricken off my priority list. Baby formula, diapers, and vaccine shots have replaced them. Oh how I miss those carefree days! This is the most common disadvantage of being a parent. You don’t anymore get to go on a spree on things that you once spend on. After all, there are more important things to buy than the latest Sandra Brown or Judith McNaught novel.

I also don’t get to go on a spontaneous trip like visit Boboy at Davao City on weekends when my romantic spirit strikes, go on a movie marathon with friends, or even do ukay-ukay on days I feel like it. Everything has to be scheduled and planned out, with Alee’s best interest at the forefront. These are probably the same reasons why some married people I know put off having a child for the longest time. They are afraid to let go of the spontaneity that childless couples get to enjoy. Sometimes, I think about the what-ifs. What if Boboy and I also put off having a baby for a little while longer? Like maybe a couple more years? Would it have made a significant difference in our lives?

Okay, back to my story, so I went forth to the grocery and bought Alee’s milk supply for the week only to find out that it cost P15 higher than the week before. With a heavy heart, I trotted off to the counter with the 1.8KG can of milk in tow. For some people who know me, it might come as a surprise that an increase of a few peso would matter. I used to be unwary of such a small amount. But ever since we had Alee, Boboy and I make it a point to be mindful of the things that we spend on. We now compare brands and prices--- even PUV fares! Unlikely, but it’s true. But it’s a welcome change. Alee’s existence in our lives made us realize the value of money and the importance of saving up for the rainy days. These are things I find more essential to life than spontaneity and sprees.

I guess parenting does have its disadvantages and advantages, just like most things in this planet. I am pretty sure that all moms and dads, at some point of their lives, find themselves looking back at those times before their children came along. Those days when the priority list is consisting mostly of things that would satisfy one’s self like shoes, bags, and travels instead of trips to the pediatrician’s clinic and multivitamin drops. I also think most parents, at some point, wish they could spend a day off washing feeding bottles, changing nappies, and picking up the clattered toys in the living room. But it doesn’t really mean these parents are giving up parenting as a whole. Everyone gets tired of playing a role or doing a task --- even those that we love and enjoy. We tend to feel exhausted once and awhile. And that doesn’t leave parenting as an exemption. But take note, being tired of it all is only good for some time. We always get back to doing things that we love---- things that give us fulfillment and great rewards. And parenting is so full of these seemingly small yet so wonderful rewards. When I get home from work, I always look forward to Alee’s smile and the feel of her small arms around my neck. Each time I appear at the door of my parents’ house, the glow in her eyes and her excited squeal never failed to make my heart beat faster with pride and joy. The sight of her takes all the negativity from work away. Each morning I delight at her voice when she wakes up and calls out “Mommy”. As I stare at her when she sleeps and listen to her breathing, I am amazed at this wonderful creation I helped brought out into the world. It’s a big question how God could entrust me with this precious human being. I must be damned not to be grateful. ---- And I must be an alien if I don’t get tired once in awhile. 11.10.2010

Today's lunch break topic shifted to Religion and God's existence. Although I remember Ms. Lace mentioned about Chris being an agnostic, I didn't really expect that he's a hard-core agnostic. But he is and I feel sad about it. He even let out a blasphemous statement and I felt like my heart was struck with a rod. I couldn't help blurting out something like, "I'll really pray for your soul." I realized now it was the worst thing to blurt out.

By Alex Lacson

After the August 23 hostage drama, there is just too much negativity about and against the Filipino.

“It is difficult to be a Filipino these days”, says a friend who works in Hongkong. “Nakakahiya tayo”, “Only in the Philippines” were some of the comments lawyer Trixie Cruz-Angeles received in her Facebook. There is this email supposedly written by a Dutch married to a Filipina, with 2 kids, making a litany of the supposed stupidity or idiocy of Filipinos in general. There was also this statement by Fermi Wong, founder of Unison HongKong, where she said – “Filipino maids have a very low status in our city”. Then there is this article from a certain Daniel Wagner of Huffington Post, wherein he said he sees nothing good in our country’s future.

Clearly, the hostage crisis has spawned another crisis – a crisis of faith in the Filipino, one that exists in the minds of a significant number of Filipinos and some quarters in the world.

It is important for us Filipinos to take stock of ourselves as a people – of who we truly are as a people. It is important that we remind ourselves who the Filipino really is, before our young children believe all this negativity that they hear and read about the Filipino.

We have to protect and defend the Filipino in each one of us.

The August 23 hostage fiasco is now part of us as Filipinos, it being part now of our country’s and world’s history. But that is not all that there is to the Filipino. Yes, we accept it as a failure on our part, a disappointment to Hong Kong, China and to the whole world.

But there is so much more about the Filipino.

In 1945, at the end of World War II, Hitler and his Nazi had killed more than 6 million Jews in Europe. But in 1939, when the Jews and their families were fleeing Europe at a time when several countries refused to open their doors to them, our Philippines did the highly risky and the unlikely –thru President Manuel L Quezon, we opened our country’s doors and our nation’s heart to the fleeing and persecuted Jews. Eventually, some 1,200 Jews and their families made it to Manila. Last 21 June 2010, or 70 years later, the first ever monument honoring Quezon and the Filipino nation for this “open door policy” was inaugurated on Israeli soil, at the 65-hectare Holocaust Memorial Park in Rishon LeZion, Israel.

The Filipino heart is one of history’s biggest, one of the world’s rare jewels, and one of humanity’s greatest treasures.

In 2007, Baldomero M. Olivera, a Filipino, was chosen and awarded as the Scientist for the Year 2007 by Harvard University Foundation, for his work in neurotoxins which is produced by venomous cone snails commonly found in the tropical waters of Philippines. Olivera is a distinguished professor of biology at University of Utah, USA. The Scientist for the Year 2007 award was given to him in recognition to his outstanding contribution to science, particularly to molecular biology and groundbreaking work with conotoxins. The research conducted by Olivera’s group became the basis for the production of commercial drug called Prialt (generic name – Ziconotide), which is considered more effective than morphine and does not result in addiction.

The Filipino mind is one of the world’s best, one of humanity’s great assets.

The Filipino is capable of greatness, of making great sacrifices for the greater good of the least of our people. Josette Biyo is an example of this. Biyo has masteral and doctoral degress from one of the top universities in the Philippines – the De La Salle University (Taft, Manila) – where she used to teach rich college students and was paid well for it. But Dr Biyo left all that and all the glamour of Manila, and chose to teach in a far-away public school in a rural area in the province, receiving the salary of less than US$ 300 a month. When asked why she did that, she replied “but who will teach our children?” In recognition of the rarity of her kind, the world-famous Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in the United States honoured Dr Biyo a very rare honor – by naming a small and new-discovered planet in our galaxy as “Biyo”.

The Filipino is one of humanity’s best examples on the greatness of human spirit!

Efren Penaflorida was born to a father who worked as a tricycle driver and a mother who worked as laundrywoman. Through sheer determination and the help of other people, Penaflorida finished college. In 1997, Penaflorida and his friends formed a group that made pushcarts (kariton) and loaded them with books, pens, crayons, blackboard, clothes, jugs of water, and a Philippine flag. Then he and his group would go to the public cemetery, market and garbage dump sites in Cavite City – to teach street children with reading, math, basic literacy skills and values, to save them from illegal drugs and prevent them from joining gangs. Penaflorida and his group have been doing this for more than a decade. Last year, Penaflorida was chosen and awarded as CNN Hero for 2009.

Efren Penaflorida is one of the great human beings alive today. And he is a Filipino!

Nestor Suplico is yet another example of the Filipino’s nobility of spirit. Suplico was a taxi driver In New York. On 17 July 2004, Suplico drove 43 miles from New York City to Connecticut, USA to return the US$80,000 worth of jewelry (rare black pearls) to his passenger who forgot it at the back seat of his taxi. When his passenger offered to give him a reward, Suplico even refused the reward. He just asked to be reimbursed for his taxi fuel for his travel to Connecticut. At the time, Suplico was just earning $80 a day as a taxi driver. What do you call that? That’s honesty in its purest sense. That is decency most sublime. And it occurred in New York, the Big Apple City, where all kinds of snakes and sinners abound, and a place where – according to American novelist Sydney Sheldon – angels no longer descend. No wonder all New York newspapers called him “New York’s Most Honest Taxi Driver”. The New York City Government also held a ceremony to officially acknowledge his noble deed. The Philippine Senate passed a Resolution for giving honors to the Filipino people and our country.

In Singapore, Filipina Marites Perez-Galam, 33, a mother of four, found a wallet in a public toilet near the restaurant where she works as the head waitress containing 16,000 Singaporean dollars (US $11,000). Maritess immediately handed the wallet to the restaurant manager of Imperial Herbal restaurant where she worked located in Vivo City Mall. The manager in turn reported the lost money to the mall’s management. It took the Indonesian woman less than two hours to claim her lost wallet intended for her son’s ear surgery that she and her husband saved for the medical treatment. Maritess refused the reward offered by the grateful owner and said it was the right thing to do.

The Filipina, in features and physical beauty, is one of the world’s most beautiful creatures! Look at this list – Gemma Cruz became the first Filipina to win Miss International in 1964; Gloria Diaz won as Miss Universe in 1969; Aurora Pijuan won Miss International in 1970; Margie Moran won Miss Universe in 1973; Evangeline Pascual was 1st runner up in Miss World 1974; Melanie Marquez was Miss International in 1979; Ruffa Gutierrez was 2nd runner up in Miss World 1993; Charlene Gonzalez was Miss Universe finalist in 1994; Mirriam Quiambao was Miss Universe 1st runner up in 1999; and last week, Venus Raj was 4th runner up in Miss Universe pageant.

I can cite more great Filipinos like Ramon Magsaysay, Ninoy Aquino, Leah Salonga, Manny Pacquaio, Paeng Nepomuceno, Tony Meloto, Joey Velasco, Juan Luna and Jose Rizal. For truly, there are many more great Filipinos who define who we are as a people and as a nation – each one of them is part of each one of us, for they are Filipinos like us, for they are part of our history as a people.

What we see and hear of the Filipino today is not all that there is about the Filipino. I believe that the Filipino is higher and greater than all these that we see and hear about the Filipino. God has a beautiful story for us as a people. And the story that we see today is but a fleeting portion of that beautiful story that is yet to fully unfold before the eyes of our world.

So let’s rise as one people. Let’s pick up the pieces. Let’s ask for understanding and forgiveness for our failure. Let us also ask for space and time to correct our mistakes, so we can improve our system.

To all of you my fellow Filipinos, let’s keep on building the Filipino great and respectable in the eyes of our world – one story, two stories, three stories at a time – by your story, by my story, by your child’s story, by your story of excellence at work, by another Filipino’s honesty in dealing with others, by another Pinoy’s example of extreme sacrifice, by the faith in God we Filipinos are known for.

Every Filipino, wherever he or she maybe in the world today, is part of the solution. Each one of us is part of the answer. Every one of us is part of the hope we seek for our country. The Filipino will not become a world-class citizen unless we are able to build a world-class homeland in our Philippines.

We are a beautiful people. Let no one in the world take that beauty away from you. Let no one in the world take away that beauty away from any of your children! We just have to learn – very soon – to build a beautiful country for ourselves, with an honest and competent government in our midst.

Mga kababayan, after reading this, I ask you to do two things.

First, defend and protect the Filipino whenever you can, especially among your children. Fight all this negativity about the Filipino that is circulating in many parts of the world. Let us not allow this single incident define who the Filipino is, and who we are as a people. And second, demand for good leadership and good government from our leaders. Question both their actions and inaction; expose the follies of their policies and decisions. The only way we can perfect our system is by engaging it. The only way we can solve our problem, is by facing it, head on.

We are all builders of the beauty and greatness of the Filipino. We are the architects of our nation’s success.

To all the people of HK and China, especially the relatives of the victims, my family and I deeply mourn with the loss of your loved ones. Every life is precious. My family and I humbly ask for your understanding and forgiveness.

It's tuesday. August 31, 2010. Got inside the office at 7:43am. Very early for a latecomer like me. There's nobody in yet. The Regional office is like a ghost town. AT 2:34am, Boboy left for davao. It had been one of those moments when he would be at home the day before and then leave for work at dawn the following day. I don't know when this routine would end. I don't know when my prayer and wish would be granted. I just hope it would be soon enough.

This is one of those times when I wish I am rich enough to support our family. Rich enough for both of us not to work far away from each other. *sigh.

I have to get to work. *agh!