There was this FB post that says, “Changeyour facebook profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday(Dec.6) there should be no human faces on facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is for violence against children”, which prompted me to google the first cartoon character from my childhood that came to mind. It was the Smurfs. Those little blue creatures in white turbans that lived in mushroom-like houses were one of my favorites 25 years ago. I used to watch their show with my cousin, Queenie. However, right after I published my new profile pic, my friend Bechay commented on my profile. She told me she also used to like and watch the Smurfs when she was little. Then she asked me about the other cartoon characters when we were kids. The ones with the rainbow. I asked her if she meant the Care Bears or Rainbow Brite.

Rainbow Brite. She was that little girl in pony tail that wore a rainbow painted dress with big shoes to match. I googled up images of her and what magical feelings they evoked in me. It was great to be reminded of that one thing that made childhood such a wonderful memory.... or so it seemed.

Rainbow Brite reminds me of something that had been kept in the corners of my sub-consciousness for so long. Here is the story.

I was, I think in first grade that time when Rainbow Brite was such a big hit. In school, a lot of kids had Rainbow Brite stationeries and sticker books. One day, a vendor came into class and showed a Rainbow Brite Sticker Book. I couldn’t even remember if that vendor was a he or a she. All I can remember was that ultimate desire to own a booklet, which siege me the whole day. The same ultimate desire that led me to lie to my parents --- an act that is haunting me until this very day.

When I got home, I told Tatay and Nanay that the booklet was a class requirement. It cost around P20.00. And at that time, such amount was hard to earn. I could still remember seeing Tatay ramaged through his pockets for coins and Nanay breaking her piggy bank just to come up with P20.00. The next day, I got my very own Rainbow Brite Sticker Book with some free stickers to start with. I felt so happy. I didn’t even remember caring about the disappointed look at my parents face when they saw what kind of booklet I bought.

But now, 23 years after, I feel this heaviness in my heart just thinking about what I’ve done. I wish I could turn back the time and take back that act. I know I should forgive myself. After all, what can one expect from a 6-year old? Still, I feel guilty. And since I may never get rid of that guilty feeling, I chose to be consoled my this thought:

Rainbow Brite proved me how much my parents were willing to go through just to give me the things that I need. She showed me how much I was being loved. 12.01.2010