Tatay is a great cook. He has his ways with animals and children and people. I am his fave. J He rarely gets mad, but when he does, I wouldn’t dare cross his path. He could stay calm in worst situations and could be as stubborn as a bull. He is the best horseman I’ve ever met and my brother and I consider him a horse-whisperer.

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There is no other man I would love more than I love tatay. Nor can there be any man who could greatly influence my life as much as he did and still does. Tatay is not perfect. Human as he is, he has his own flaws and mistakes. But despite all that, for me, he will forever be my hero, strength, and life. No man can ever love me the way he does. His love has shone all throughout my life, from childhood until now. In his own ways, he showed me what true loving is all about. The way he provided our needs. The way he loves nanay. The way he takes care of us all. The way he cooks our favorite dishes, the way he repaired broken things, the times he kissed scraped knees, the times he hugged away painful experiences and kissed away tears of frustrations and broken hearts, and the way he built my playhouse when I was a kid are just few of the things that I will treasure in my heart. Yes, no man could ever take his place in my heart. No man. I will forever love you, Tatay. - September 2005

PERSONAL PROFILE

Name: ALDRIN AÑONUEVO and ADRIAN AÑONUEVO
Age: 18 years old
Relationship: Younger Brothers

Describe Them:
I call them “Bibi”(my own version of Baby). They are loving, athletic, and the best basketball players in the whole universe. They could sing too. (Talented mana sa ate.) J They love MEYAWT, our pet cat. Pinaka-pogi sila for me.

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My two poging “bibis” are the best brothers one could ever have. I’ve seen them grow from cute naughty toddlers to loving and handsome gentlemen. I was their babysitter back when they were kids. There was nobody else who could make them get their afternoon nap aside from me. I was like their “terror” yaya. But over the years, I have developed this really strong bond with them and a tight hug and a sound kiss on my cheeks from these two tall and lanky boys could wipe my irritation and anger away.

One of the most unforgettable moments I had with them was that time they joined a Band Competition in town. There were about 20 plus group contestants and each band were to play three songs. They were the 14^th performer. Imagine the whole family stayed up till the wee hours just to hear and see them perform a Parokya ni Edgar song. It was annoying to wait that long especially since I couldn’t stand the music some bands played. It seemed like they were just shouting at the top of their lungs…. But the wait was worth it. When it was the twins’ turn on stage, I turned into a school girl playing jumping jack. I was clapping, cheering, jumping, and shouting all at same time. They were great and they bagged 7^th place. Not bad for first-timers. -september 2005

PERSONAL PROFILE
Name: ARIS AÑONUEVO
Age: 23 years old
Relationship: Younger Brother
Describe Him:
Intelligent… endangered male-specie.
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It was a tight hug and I felt ready to burst into tears. I hastily pulled away and managed to give him a bright smile as I whispered “take care”, before I turned away and climbed into the passenger jeepney. It was the last time I saw his face and it will be a year more before I would lay my eyes on him again.

My brother Aris was born two years my junior. He is an Agribusiness Management graduate and has the knack in cooking great recipes and being funny. He dreams to own a ranch, plant vegetables and raise livestock & poultry. He believes that the only solution to the country’s economic crisis is getting right back to the basic which is agriculture. And he is now on his 1^st year of being a novice at the Blessed Sacrament Seminary House in Bulacan.

It was always his dream to be a priest but my mother did not agree with his plans when he told her about it right after his high school graduation. So he studied Agribusiness Management at the State University where he got known because of his great sense of humor, funny antics, and intelligent ideas. It was also in college when he got himself brokenhearted. But maybe, it was God’s way of telling him that he was meant to serve Him because it was in Jesus he found comfort and healing.

In 2004, after twelve months of juggling between job-hunting and serving the youth in our community through the Parish Youth Ministry, he decided to pursue becoming a priest. It was difficult for my parents, specially my mother to see him leave for his first year of postulancy. The first few weeks were sad because we kept thinking how seemingly gloomy the house was without his funny disposition. I got to see him once in awhile because my job allowed me to take the three-hour ride to his seminary, and he was allowed to see visitors. It was during those visits that we got really close to each other. It was during those times when we shared our views, feelings, and plans. It was then when I realized what a waste it was living more than twenty years in the same house with him and not knowing what a treasure he truly is.

Our childhood was filled with quarrels ---not just the petty ones---but the kind that lasted many years of not speaking to each other due to sibling rivalry and pride. As the eldest, I thought then that I had the right to be dominant & bossy & brass. Stubborn & proud as Aris was, he wasn’t the type to bow down to everything I wanted and we were in constant clash with each other. It had caused our mother great heartache to see us that way. Now I realized that I should have known better than to be proud and domineering. I could have earn his respect & trust in a different way.

My mother & I took him to Bulacan for his 2-year novice in May 2005. The last email I got from him was on the following month. The Novice Director says he is doing well in the seminary. He sends text messages once in a while and nothing more. Then on my 26^th birthday, he sent me a message which nearly reduced me to tears and at the same time made my heart burst with joy & love… He told me that although we’ve grown apart, deep inside, he does love me and he considers me to be his very first bestfriend…. J - april 2006

... that's my husband, alright. I know I have mentioned him quite a lot in my previous blogs. Goodness, I even posted his photo in this webpage! (lol!) This morning, on my way to work, he crossed my mind (again. as always. *sigh). First, I wondered what he was doing at that very moment. Maybe he was already hard at work, as he always does on a Monday morning (and for the rest of the week, as I may add). Then, my mind just went further and I thought about how I wish I have known him my entire life. You know, knowing him since childhood. Maybe being playmates, neighbors, schoolmates, etc.

I couldn't stop smiling when I remembered one story his sister told me. He was about 6 or 7 (if I remember it right, that is) when he took a hundred from papa's wallet without permission and bought food with it from the school canteen. The school canteen custodian was surprised to see him with such a big amount so papa's attention was called and it earned Boboy a good spanking. And then there was another instance when he (again) took a 20 peso bill from papa's wallet to buy a box of spiders. Papa caught him again and aside from being spanked, he was told his arms would be cut off if he'd ever do it again. In my mind, I picture this little boy, his chinky eyes glowing with combined mischief and innocence. Carefree and surrounded with people who love him. How I wish I have seen him then. Be a part of his childhood years. Then, I wondered (and still am wondering), if so, would I have made a difference in his life? ....

More childhood and adolescent stories came flooding. There was a story of him running into a barbed wire fence from which he got his upper lip stitched. That one when he got one of his eye infected and the doctor had to cover both eyes for more than a couple of weeks. His love for bonsai making. His learning to drive on his own. His love for dancing. His first girlfriend. His first broken heart. And more...

When I first met him, I didn't find him particularly interesting because he wasn't my usual guy (not the pa-cute kind of thing, is what i really mean). After Marlon introduced us to each other, he just sat there beside me so totally engrossed with his boy talk that I found it so ungentlemanly. How dare he totally ignored me in the conversation?! But I didn't give it much thought then. I wasn't interested in guys with glasses and those who had life so easy for them. That was what I thought of him. I know exactly how we got to know each other better but let me not elaborate it here because it is going to be a long story (which I have told all my friends and family over and over again...). Then we got into "the" relationship. And that's when I really started to fall inlove with him. It was a novelty for me going into a commitment without feeling that head-over-heels emotion. But that was what exactly happened to me. And I am really thankful it did. Every day I discover little things about him that make me love him more. Surprisingly, most of these things were not on my Ideal Man's List of Traits.

Yesterday, he called to tell me he was still in Kidapawan and that he was at a carwash to have papa's car done. I am amazed at his thoughtfulness. One small act that I admire so much. I know that was an instinct for him. With Boboy, you don't need to tell him what to do. He just does it. That's one thing I observed about him. One of the many reasons I keep falling inlove with him.

As the PUV neared where I usually get off, I thanked God for him and his colorful life experiences which I know contributed so much for who he has become at this moment. I also thank God for this opportunity to be a part of him now and in the future. I pray that I have and would be able to play the part I have been gifted with for him to have a fulfilling and happy life.

I know I have told you this more than many times, Beh. But I will never tire of telling you this. I love you so much. You are my life. - June 27, 2011

Today, my brother Aris' break from the seminary ended. As what had been going on for the last five years, he came and then after three weeks, he leaves. It has become a cycle for the family. But it's quite difficult to explain why I never get used to it. I guess nobody does. Not for my family.

I always feel melodramatic when he leaves. Each year, as I see him hug everyone and say his goodbyes, there's this prick in my heart that never seem to fade away with the years. I wonder why. Maybe it's the loneliness that comes when I get home after work today, knowing that his round happy face wouldn't be there to greet me. The sound of his laughter no longer echoing, and etc.

This time, I couldn't help but think about my own children in the future. When Alee leaves for medical school and Noah goes for his dreams. I wonder if it would be the same pain. The same prick in my heart. The same loneliness. I wonder if I could bear it, just like my parents did.

Leaving is something that I have always viewed as advantageous to the one who's doing it... and a disadvantage to those who are left behind. If you're leaving, you always have something to look forward to. A whole new world to explore. New opportunities to uncover and sail upon. But if you're left behind, you only have memories and wishful thinkings. Sad. But true. - May 23, 2011.

I have been waiting for that moment for days. Ever since I missed my period on the 13th, I was already feeling anxious. The negative result of the home pregnancy test kit didn't lessen the anxiety a bit. I knew it wasn't assurance enough that my period was just delayed. My periods were always on time. I took another test after three days, still I got a negative result. I said I was gonna give it another shot just to be sure. So the other day, I took another one and there it was... A faint second line. Much like the one I got when I had Alee.

Deep in my heart I felt so sad. Sad because I am not yet ready (again) for this one. Before this, I always thought that our second child would be conceived after all our financial obligations have been paid, our own house built, and our own car bought. He would be made after we have planned out everything. Plus, there's the Veils & Beyond committment with our first ever client. I felt sad because I have to bear my son at this time when I have so many things to do, fulfill, achieve,make, and plan out.

When I conceived Alee, I pretty much had the same anxieties. But everyone around me were so happy and so supportive that all those fears just vanished and I learned to enjoy and love everything about having a baby. Oh yes there were so low and financial ly-drained moments, like that time we didn't even have a peso to buy laundry soap. Or that time when all I had in my wallet was P10.00 for fare. But never once did God not provide for what we need. When Nanay heard about me crying over the laundry soap, she bought a bag of it. When money ran out, something just happened and then we get to earn enough for what we need. So why worry now and risk NOah Cedric feeling unwanted right from the very start?.... When come to think of it, we are so much better now than we used to be.

Even if I gave it my best shot to be very careful, if this is God's perfect time to give us our second child, then it still would happen. Today's bible reflection focuses on Jeremiah 17:5-10 that says:

The Lord says, "I will condemn the person who turns away from me and puts his trust in man, in the strength of mortal man. He is like a bush in the desert, which grows in the dry wasteland, on salty ground where nothing else grows. Nothing good ever happens to him. But I will bless the person who puts his trust in me. He is like a tree growing near a stream and sending out roots to the water. It is not afraid when hot weather comes, because its leaves stay green; it has no worries when there is no rain; it keeps on bearing fruit. Who can understand the human heart? There is nothing else so deceitful; it is too sick to be healed. I, the Lord, search teh minds and test the hearts of men. I treat each one according to the way he lives, according to what he does."

Thank you Lord for putting me in this situation where I realized how great a PROVIDER you are to those who put their trust in you and you alone. I shall be like that tree near the stream, unafraid of the sun's heat during the summer, because my leaves shall stay green and I shall bear fruits even then. Forgive me for my frailties and my lack of faith. Help my unbelief and make me grow in you always so that I will be able to tell this precious gift you have given me (once again) how you have taken care of me (and all of us) at all times. You have always been my unrecognized refuge and strength. You are the wind beneath my wings. You are my light and my Saviour. You have rescued me too many times and in so many ways, yet why do I still sin? And why do you still love me all the more? Make me more like you so that I will be more fit to mother these little angels (Aleeza and Noah) you have sent our way.

This is God's perfect time and I welcome it in a whole new light. Thank you Beh for being the positive person that you are in my life. To my Nanay and Tatay and Papa who are very supportive of us despite our weaknesses and to our siblings, as well. Thank you to our LMS family. Your friendship is a friendship made in heaven. Life wouldn't be this sweet without you all.

To my little Aleeza who's going to be a big sister, having you has been memorable and sweet. You are a joy to our lives. You give us so much happiness. Daddy and I love you so dearly.

And to our little darling, Noah Cedric. You are precious, you are God's wonderful creation. I will love you more than I love myself. Forgive me for my doubts, I only want to give you a better life. Now I realize that I cannot do so alone even if I work hard and plan it like crazy. Only our God can truly provide you that. All I can ever do is love you and guide you to become the person that you were created for. I am counting the days. I will see you in 8 months, my son. - March 24, 2011

I sing of golden-throned Hera whom Rhea bore. Queen of the immortals is she, surpassing all in beauty: she is the sister and the wife of loud-thundering Zeus, the glorious one whom all the blessed throughout high Olympus reverence and honor even as Zeus who delights in thunder.