Written 02.12.2009

It’s been awhile since he was forced to retire from this bank. Eleven months to count it. A lot has changed since then. Table of organization, people in-charge, policies, even our office layout. The once most work-conducive area in the head office has turned into the worst place to work ever. Steel cabinets are everywhere. The ornamental plants that used to beautify and provide fresh oxygen inside the room were dispatched. Constant chatter and frequent unnecessary conversation and laughter have replaced the professional silence and comfortable hum-drum. Computer screens plastered with personal photos instead of the bank’s official wallpaper are a common sight. The room is jam-packed with chairs and personnel it is oftentimes hard to breathe and move around. People in the office don’t mind being late anymore. Punctuality is not on top of their priorities because after all, the heads don’t care. They themselves are often late during management meetings. You always have the chance to get promoted now even if you don’t really perform well… The important thing is that you have gone a long way being loyal to your boss. That’s the way things are now. What a pathetic thought!

I miss the old days. Though I must admit, it wasn’t all a bed of roses. I had my own struggles during those times. But those struggles had yielded very positive results. I have learned to be passionate about my job… giving it my best without thinking of the rewards because I know that he will take care of that for me. I know that he has, not only my but all of us, his subordinates’ (Regardless of whether or not we are on his side or not) best interests in mind. Back then, I was not afraid to admit my mistakes or errors because I know that he will be broadminded enough to listen to my side of the story. Most importantly, I know that to him, telling the truth is more important than committing the error – and I am assured that I would not be judged according to my mistakes. He had always been generous with second chances. With him, benefit of the doubt is not a scarcity.

With his leadership, I have learned to let go of mediocrity at almost everything. I have learned to let go of my reactive habit. Instead, he taught me how to be proactive. I have also learned to embrace brevity without sacrificing clarity. It saves precious time, he said.

I miss the morning lectures he would make, whenever his schedule permits. His couple-of-minute words of wisdom could extend up to 10 depending on his mood. Those lectures, long they oftentimes were, were inspiring. They never failed to motivate me. They were like raindrops on dry grounds. I guess because they were spoken with conviction and confidence. They were relayed in such a way that the listeners will never doubt that he believes them himself. I also miss his reprimands. He made them without being offensive. I wonder how he did it.

But what I miss most is those times when he would enter or leave our office with a bright genuine smile and a warm greeting or farewell for everyone. And those times when he would suddenly join in our friendly-office-chatter. He would kid everyone about something and I could feel everyone brightening up. He had his way of breaking down the wall between superior and subordinate without losing the respect he had gained from everyone of us. He was more than just our leader. He was also our mentor, our defender, and most of all, our friend.

It is disheartening to think that he was dropped off like a hot potato by the very own company that he taught us to love and give our best to. This very own company that he had given his time, effort, passion, and a great deal of himself to, did not even give him any good reason why he was treated that way. The way things went disillusioned me. How could this bank, who claims to ensure wholistic development of its human resources as part of its mission, do such an unthinkable thing to the person who had done so much for its progress and development? Maybe it happens to other banks and companies. But I thought this bank was different. I thought it has a heart. Maybe I am just too naïve about the corporate world. Maybe there are a whole lot more I should learn. Maybe, all of them don’t really have a heart, even if they think and say they do.

His office still looks the same, anyway. The same round table. The same books. The same bookshelf. But those were just that. Nothing else is ever the same. Not the person occupying it now. Not the scent of the room. Not the aura it emanates each time you enter it. Not the decisions coming out of it. Not the policies being developed inside it. No. Nothing else is ever the same at all…

….Not even me.