Life's Simple Treats: February 2009

Just Sharing...

Fr. Rogie's Homily during our wedding.

"Make Jesus Christ the center of your married life."

He also taught us what CHRIST stands for.

C - Communication

H - Humility

R - Respect

I - Intimacy

S - Sacrifice

T - Thanksgiving

So help us GOD.

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My BEH-loved...

ilusm,beh.

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My Bestfriend's Wedding

I must admit it was a surprise when Sandy broke the news about her tying the knot with her longtime beau --Elmer, this May. I wasn't counting on it, actually. I thought it was Bechay or someone else in the group first... not her...

She seemed to be having so much fun about being single so that it was hard to imagine her giving up a great degree of her independence. Well, LOVE can really do wonders, huh?!...

But despite my surprise, I feel very delighted when she told me about it. Not to mention, very excited. For one thing, I've been through the wedding preparations myself and although it wasn't all a bed of roses, the wonder of it all will outweigh the nails, anyway.

I love weddings. And this one is a whole lot special because it's going to be Sandy's. My bestfriend... My other half....

So, here's a glimpse of what I "might" wear on that very special day... "might" because... who knows, I might change my mind... TA-DAH!!!!! ;-)

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Thoughts of a Disillusioned Spirit

Written 02.12.2009

It’s been awhile since he was forced to retire from this bank. Eleven months to count it. A lot has changed since then. Table of organization, people in-charge, policies, even our office layout. The once most work-conducive area in the head office has turned into the worst place to work ever. Steel cabinets are everywhere. The ornamental plants that used to beautify and provide fresh oxygen inside the room were dispatched. Constant chatter and frequent unnecessary conversation and laughter have replaced the professional silence and comfortable hum-drum. Computer screens plastered with personal photos instead of the bank’s official wallpaper are a common sight. The room is jam-packed with chairs and personnel it is oftentimes hard to breathe and move around. People in the office don’t mind being late anymore. Punctuality is not on top of their priorities because after all, the heads don’t care. They themselves are often late during management meetings. You always have the chance to get promoted now even if you don’t really perform well… The important thing is that you have gone a long way being loyal to your boss. That’s the way things are now. What a pathetic thought!

I miss the old days. Though I must admit, it wasn’t all a bed of roses. I had my own struggles during those times. But those struggles had yielded very positive results. I have learned to be passionate about my job… giving it my best without thinking of the rewards because I know that he will take care of that for me. I know that he has, not only my but all of us, his subordinates’ (Regardless of whether or not we are on his side or not) best interests in mind. Back then, I was not afraid to admit my mistakes or errors because I know that he will be broadminded enough to listen to my side of the story. Most importantly, I know that to him, telling the truth is more important than committing the error – and I am assured that I would not be judged according to my mistakes. He had always been generous with second chances. With him, benefit of the doubt is not a scarcity.

With his leadership, I have learned to let go of mediocrity at almost everything. I have learned to let go of my reactive habit. Instead, he taught me how to be proactive. I have also learned to embrace brevity without sacrificing clarity. It saves precious time, he said.

I miss the morning lectures he would make, whenever his schedule permits. His couple-of-minute words of wisdom could extend up to 10 depending on his mood. Those lectures, long they oftentimes were, were inspiring. They never failed to motivate me. They were like raindrops on dry grounds. I guess because they were spoken with conviction and confidence. They were relayed in such a way that the listeners will never doubt that he believes them himself. I also miss his reprimands. He made them without being offensive. I wonder how he did it.

But what I miss most is those times when he would enter or leave our office with a bright genuine smile and a warm greeting or farewell for everyone. And those times when he would suddenly join in our friendly-office-chatter. He would kid everyone about something and I could feel everyone brightening up. He had his way of breaking down the wall between superior and subordinate without losing the respect he had gained from everyone of us. He was more than just our leader. He was also our mentor, our defender, and most of all, our friend.

It is disheartening to think that he was dropped off like a hot potato by the very own company that he taught us to love and give our best to. This very own company that he had given his time, effort, passion, and a great deal of himself to, did not even give him any good reason why he was treated that way. The way things went disillusioned me. How could this bank, who claims to ensure wholistic development of its human resources as part of its mission, do such an unthinkable thing to the person who had done so much for its progress and development? Maybe it happens to other banks and companies. But I thought this bank was different. I thought it has a heart. Maybe I am just too naïve about the corporate world. Maybe there are a whole lot more I should learn. Maybe, all of them don’t really have a heart, even if they think and say they do.

His office still looks the same, anyway. The same round table. The same books. The same bookshelf. But those were just that. Nothing else is ever the same. Not the person occupying it now. Not the scent of the room. Not the aura it emanates each time you enter it. Not the decisions coming out of it. Not the policies being developed inside it. No. Nothing else is ever the same at all…

….Not even me.

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An Ode For Mama: Dedicated to the Late Salome Duka

By: Bim Duka 05.03.2006
Posted without Permission by yours truly...

A wise old proverb said that God created mothers because He could not be everywhere.
And knowing Mama, I have to believe that the proverb is true.

If there was a blessing that came to us from above
There’s never been any question…

- from our first attempts at walking on through every step of the way-

…what it was.

If there was a gift that God gave to our family
There’s never been any doubt

- from the first smile on our faces when we see the radiant beauty of our mother-

…what it was.

My siblings and I often talked about your selflessness.
You were so committed of being a mother to us, that we think that the most difficult commitment to pursue as more often than not, for it requires much more giving than receiving.
The rewards of this commitment seem to be so very few,
And the demands so very great.

Oftentimes, my siblings and I were so caught up in our own lives that we fail to realize that we were never always in any emotion.
For each moment of joy we experienced, there was your laughter that heavens may have heard as your way of thanking God for the blessings He has given to us, your children.

Behind each tear shed and each hurt felt,
There is a silent tear and a silent hurt deep inside your heart.

I can still vividly recall your comforting presence,
And the words you said.

It’s strange that these silent emotions were never readily apparent.
But they were always behind your words of encouragement, wisdom, understanding, and faith
That there will be a better tomorrow awaiting for me.

Mother, we also have silent emotions, but every success we have in life we offer to you and papa.
You will always be with us,
To all the people who love you
The memories will always be there
But your true legacies in this world
Are the good things you have done
And us your children….

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Sentiments of a 25-year old Single...

I wrote this last May 25, 2005: I find this very amusing... ;-)

What is it about being 25 and being single (not even a single suitor) that makes people (especially elder relatives like titas and titos you haven’t seen for ages) turn to you and say, WHAT? Baka masyadong mataas ang standards mo?!. Duh? As if I have standards! Honestly, it’s crazy why people seem to think that being 25 and not having a boyfriend is a sign of spinstership. Married and attached officemates usually give us the look of pure concern and, (goodness, I hope I’m mistaken) is it pity, each time we, the singles and unattached would group together. They’d tell us to stop huddling together like little chicks and start socializing with other people outside of our circle because according to them, going out on an all-single-female date most of the time will do us no good. But is it really? I mean, since I started working with my present employer, I’ve always been in the company of girls and I never ever (not a single minute) found myself bored with the company. For the last three years that we girls had been together, we’ve talked about the same thing. (gosh! Would you ever guess what?!) LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS…that’s what we always end up talking about when we get together….but even if the topic had been around for ages, we never got tired of it. The conversation is always interesting and mind you, we even could stay up until the wee hours just sharing insights and opinions. What is it about LOVE that makes composer come up with billions of love songs and makes poets compose trillions of phrases? What is it about love that makes people cry and do crazy stuff just for the sake of a loved-one? I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m 25 and yet it’s still a mystery to me. I’ve been inlove. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been happy. I have cried. And yet,…whatever!!! ;-)

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Just Being Melodramatic...written June 4, 2008

Boboy misplaced the van’s registration papers.
One of the many…
He almost always misplaced things.
Insignificant – sometimes important – things.
From flashlights…MP3 players…CDs… Cable wires…
To his car keys… his favorite shirt… even his briefs…

And well, who’s there to ask of their whereabouts?...
Though sometimes it’s annoying, most of the time, it is amusing.
And it makes me feel like a wife.
You are a wife… I heard that….
But you see, we don’t live together everyday. Economics dictate it.
We do try to see each other and be together as often as we could.
Sometimes, I wish I’m an heiress to a multi national company... . Or just plain wealthy…
So I don’t have to work my butt off and just play wife to him.
Cook for him…run his household,,,, listen to his stories… tell him about my day and watch him make faces each time I say something outrageous or childish…
Hear him laugh…See him smile…
Just be there to snap him out of his thoughts.
He sometimes lapse into silence--- staring up to nowhere… as if in deep thoughts…
Oftentimes it hurts… especially at times when I’m into my litany of stories ---and he just sits there as if I’m invisible.

It felt good to know that my officemates’ husbands also have their lapse – into – silence moments… (the advantage of lunch break chika sessions)

Tonight he’s not here…
And the bed seems to be too large for me.
The room too big…there seem to be a lot of space here for one.
And the pillows! --- they are all over the bed.
I miss him now. I wish he’s here…

It’s raining outside...
I wish I could open the sliding doors wide enough to let the cold wind in… but I’m scared something might get in – a beetle bug or a frog, perhaps - and Boboy’s not here to take care of it.
And it looks like a downpour out there…I might get the bed wet…

Hah! The rain is over…
And so does this melodrama… I got to sleep.
I love you ,beh.

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Work Sentiments: Written on May 27, 2005

It's 2:30 in the afternoon, and here I am sitting infront of a computer screen, trying to figure out what to do so that I could find the motivation to finish everything before my June 3 deadline... I wonder where the loads of motivation I had in me when I started to work with this bank went. I could still remember that time when waking up in the morning didn't need to be exerted with so much effort because as I open my eyes and get out of bed, I could feel enthusiasm and excitement surge through my veins at the thought of meeting old and new clients, interacting with officemates, coming up with reports, and gaining new experiences.

After three years however, the enthusiasm and excitement started to ebb away and discontentment and boredome suddenly sprouted out of nowhere so that waking up in the morning becomes a nightmare. Punctuality at work is at the least of my priorities right now, so is productivity. These days, I often find myself uselessly lingering on my seat staring blankly at a flickering cursor with open folders splayed carelessly on my desk (just to make it look lie I am very very busy). If not, I'd be listlessly roaming around the office hopping from desk to desk looking at what my officemates are doing and engaging them in idle conversations with topics ranging from the latest Korean Novela on TV to the latest items on sale at the mall. Or you could find me at the pantry drinking coffee or eating anything edible just to keep myself awake for the rest of the day.

I often ask myself whether or not my colleagues have noticed my unproductive stay inside the office. Are they aware that the whole time I am seated on my swivel chair right now, I am just writing this article to stimulate my mind and prevent adding another unproductive working day in my life when I get out of the building later today? Would my boss ever believe that despite my on-time call reports and seemingly busy schedule, I am actually doing nothing most of the time and he could easily find it out if only he'd find the time to check on me? But he seems to trust me enough and I feel so rotten for being this way lately. It isn't that I have a daily routine with my current job. In fact, this is one of the most coveted positions in the organizational chart because it involves traveling, working with upper level management, interacting with businessmen, and being expose to several business opportunities all the time. And yet, I couldn't get any motivation from those thoughts. All I keep thinking is the hope of getting hired by one of those companies’ I submitted my application documents for the last four weeks. I also couldn’t eradicate what my college professor told me when I paid him a visit just the other week. He told me that the most pathetic thing that could ever happen to an employee is finding himself stuck in a job that he is not happy with. That just hit me bulls’ eye. I gave him a smile as I nodded in agreement to what he said, and deep in my heart, I felt myself die with the realization that I am indeed that pathetic.

I am trying to figure out why I am feeling this way lately. So I’m gonna try looking at the benefits first. The company offers a lot of these, mind you. It provides medical coverage, insurances, vacation and sick leaves with pay, spiritual and physical programs, traveling and relocation allowances, profit sharing and bonuses, even career enhancement seminars and workshops. But don’t talk about the salary, alright? I could barely take it when I think about the fact that I have been with the company for three years and two months and yet I am earning just P500.00 more than my friend who’d just finished her 6-months probationary period with her current employer (oh, please don’t count her overtime fees…). Not to mention the bruises on my ego each time I meet with my high school friends and the topic would shift to earnings and income.

But I couldn’t convince myself that this salary issue is the main reason why I feel so unmotivated and discontented with my job. Nope, it couldn’t be the main reason because right from the very start, I was already informed of that fact. I wasn’t gonna earn big and yet I accepted the offer. Was it because back then, I didn’t give a damn about financial issues? Or was it because prices of goods and the fare then weren’t as high as they are now? Was it because my young mind was then pre-occupied with what I can do for the company and the thrill of applying everything I have learned from the academe so that reality had escaped me? Hmm, I don’t know. All I know is that back then I was happy and fully satisfied with what was credited to my account every 15th and 30th of the month. Every morning, when I enter the office, I always had this genuine smile on my face because I always see the same on my officemates’ faces.

But not lately…which brings me to the next thing I must explore. My office environment and the people I am constantly interacting with---my officemates. What could I say about them? Most of us are single young people with a gist for life and fun. And believe it or not, we are totally in the same state at the moment. Just lately, I couldn’t remember a day when not a single soul would come to me and groan about being bored and tired of doing the same thing over and over again. Then there are issues about how good it was before when the loan portfolio wasn’t too big and the number of customers was just a handful. Plus the issue on not being compensated well, how badly the implementation of policies within the bank is these days, and how in the world could the immediate superior be so less knowledgeable about certain procedures when in fact she is the officer. The litany would go on and on and at the end of the day, I would go home with discontentment lingering in my heart and mind. We are a bunch of twenty-something people who are subjected to the realities of employment life. I am beginning to believe that indeed, some good things never last (and so the song goes). Just as I have gotten the hang out of my job, these people I work with also had their share of it and now, at the same moment of our lives, the deadliest venom of employment life is about to poison us all.

What a sad fate. My four years at the academe never mentioned anything about this. Not even a thing close to this. I’ve always thought that praying for a job was enough. But only now did I realize the importance of praying not only for a job but everything that comes with it. Salary, benefits, workmates, workplace, nature of the job, even the job schedule itself because in the end, having a job is not at all everything. It’s just icing on the cake. There are a lot more to consider than just getting yourself hired.

Three of my officemates have already submitted their resignation letters to the HR department and two weeks from now, this office will be three persons short in numbers, which means, a big increase in the loads of those who will be left, is something we should look forward to (argh! Oh please!)....

Note: Never got around to finishing this article... Thank God, my boss (former boss, i mean) got me out of that hellhole (spelled: Assigned me a different function & gave me a good performance evaluation rating and got me promoted) in time. .. ;-)

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