I haven't seen a real sparrow. I only read about them in my elementary books. But last night, I began to look at the word SPARROW in a whole new light.
I went home with a heavy heart last night. That afternoon, I received a letter from ONB that my proposal to reimburse them of the training expense I incurred in Makati in 24 monthly amortization was denied, and that they are giving me until end of November to settle. My failure to do so, will, accordingly, prompt them to take legal actions on that matter. I felt really scared about facing any legal suits. I'd rather be in a coffin than in a court room. Moreover, Ate Bing Gamboa who delivered the note told me that I should think twice about facing ONB in court because according to her, she knew of somebody who did the same and lost the case. She said I will never win in court against ONB. My heart sunk with that thought.
Many thoughts went through my head. I tried to think about many ways to get back to them. I cursed them silently... and yet, I ended up feeling a whole lot worst. I went to bed still with a heavy heart. I turned at my 4-month old daughter who was sleeping so soundly beside me and I thought about her future. I was overwhelmed with dread and there was restlessness inside me. I thought, I couldn't just give up on this battle. I have to fight for my daughter's sake. But no matter how hard I tried to think about ways to solve our financial distraught, I couldn't find any hope.
Then I said to myself, I will read IN HIS STEPS... Let's see what GOD has to tell about all my anxieties. I reached out for the booklet and turned it to October 16. The gospel was Luke 12: 1-7; Meanwhile, so many people were crowding together that they were trampling one another underfoot. He began to speak, first to his disciples, "Beware of the leaven - that is, the hypocrisy- of the Pharisees. There is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, nor secret that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the darkenss will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be proclaimed on the housetops. I tell you my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body but after that can do no more. I shall show you whom to fear. Be afraid of the one who after killing has the power to cast into Gehenna; yes, I tell you, be afraid of that one. Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of GOD. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.
The last two sentences touched me so deeply I cried so hard. With a guilty heart I offered everything to my God... my anxieties, my doubts, my worries, my fears... our financial difficulties... And then, my good friend April's words came back to my head... Our God is doing the battle for us... We ought not to worry.
God has once again spoken to me assuringly. He has once again lovingly reminded me that He has not forsaken me. Nothing had escaped from Him. Nothing had gone unnoticed with Him. He knows and is with me in my trying times. He is with me everyday. I should only trust Him with all my heart, my soul, my mind, --- my whole being.
I will never read the term SPARROW without being reminded how much my GOD loves me. Indeed, I am worth more than many sparrows. I ought not to be afraid.
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