I met Sandy during my freshman year in college. She graduated on top of her class at the city highschool near our house and was renowned for her beauty and intelligence by winning numerous titles in beauty contests. Though I haven’t really seen her, I have heard so much about her from Nanay who was then working as a helper at a family friend’s carenderia near the city high school.

The first time I really set my eyes on her was during enrollment. I was with Alex and we were inside the Registrar’s office which was so crowded with students trying to outrun each other in submitting the enrollment documents to the already annoyed registrar. I could not forget what she wore that day… How can I? I was expecting a stunning girl in minis and a body fit dress complete with girly accessories and chic handbag.... Instead, she was wearing a red baggy shirt, blue jeans and slip-ons for footwear. Her hair, which fell way pass her shoulders was carelessly let loose. She was quietly looking over her enrollment papers as if checking if she’d missed out on something. I was surprised really, when Alex told me who she was. Why, she was dressed exactly the way every ordinary MSUan was dressed that day. I instantly like her.

Liking her led to befriending her. We were classmates in most of our subjects (actually, except PE) because we were both taking up the same course and we both belong to the scholars society of the university. Four years in college held such wonderful memories of friendship with her… that include overnights at the beach, sleepovers at each other’s house, lunch with our group at the university cafeteria, exchanging answers during our Business law final exams, coming up with concepts for retailing and marketing 101 classes, OJT at Coke Davao, meeting the guys of our dreams who later on broke our hearts, and a whole lot more… it’s an endless list, really. And all of them brought us closer together.

Graduation Day didn’t end our friendship. Although she had to stay in Manila for awhile for her career and I in Kidapawan, we had always kept in touch. Thanks to modern day chat and email technology. We’ve managed to update each other with the going-ons of our lives, careers, love interests, etc..

And yesterday was her Wedding Day. The day she told me about it five months ago, I was completely taken by surprise. It wasn’t that the idea of her getting married with her long time beau, Elmer, didn’t cross my mind. It was just that I never really thought it was going to be this year. Well, for one, she’s doing well with her chosen career. Also, she’s into so much traveling that I thought she’s not really into tying the knot for now. I thought she was not ready to give up her independence just yet. I was completely wrong.

Well, when she told me about it, though I was surprised, I was really happy and excited about her wedding. In my mind, I was gonna do everything so that her wedding will be perfect. All through out the preparation period, all of us were very excited. We couldn’t wait for her W-day. But three days before the main event, the realization finally dawned on me. I was gonna lose her. Not really all of her… but some… I wonder if she also felt this way about my own wedding day 17 months ago… Did she feel sad about my tying the knot with Boboy? Did she ever feel a great sense of loss and a deep feeling of loneliness with the realization that soon, I will be completely engross with my husband…my children… just like what I felt and is feeling even now. I have been so used to having her around. Free to meet me anytime for coffee, window shopping, etc. Did she feel a bit indifferent towards Boboy? For he has somehow, taken me away from her… Or is it just I who feels this way because personality-wise, I am the jealous and possessive type between the two of us?


I sound so selfish. After all, it was I who first chose to tie-myself with the bond of marriage. The first between us to let go of my precious independence all in the name of love. So why even think about being sad about my bestfriend’s pursuit of her own happiness?

The wedding day is now over. I’ve witnessed her said her vows of lasting love to the man she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with. Despite the ache in my heart, I am happy for her. Finally, she will experience the joys of married life--- which to me are incomparable and fulfilling. She is now a wife. A role which may sound so simple, but in truth so profound.

I will surely miss our late night talks. Our coffee-dates… Our window-shopping… shoe-fitting… It’s not that we will no longer do them together at all.. but those times will be reduced to rare occasions, particularly since sooner or later, she will be moving to Singapore where she and Elmer had decided to start their life together as husband and wife. What a sad thought. However, I have chosen to just focus on the brighter side of this situation….. and one of that is: There’s one very good reason for me to visit Singapore in the future!

CIAO, Tats! I’ll be truly missing you.

We will be parents to Aleeza Erelah soon enough...

It feels great...and scary...

But God is good.

We will not be alone in molding Aleeza into the person God designed her to be...

So Help Us GOD.

Boboy and Hera

After about a month of waiting for the supervisory exam results, it finally came, And I didn’t make it. I felt disappointed about it. Initially. My bruised ego is demanding for an explanation. From whom, I cannot fathom. But I love myself enough to ever switch my psychological state into "Depression Mode". Deep in my heart, I’ve longed-known --- and may even subsconciously hoped and prayed for exactly this negative result.

My move from ONB to DBP was not entirely because of ONB’s rotting leadership and policies. Well, that was just a part of the many reasons, in fact. I was not entirely lying when I told them that I was moving out because of my family--- particularly my baby. After taking the supervisory exam, I tried to weigh things over and out of that I realized that a positive result would mean complications into my now stress-free and a whole lot less complicated life.

Going to Manila for a one-year supervisory training would mean uprooting (again) Boboy and totally modifying our already-made up plans of settling in Gensan. Of course I’ll have to bring Baby Aleeza with me too. I cannot bear the thought of being away from her. So, who’s gonna take care of her when I’m off to the training center? Boboy cannot possibly handle that all by himself. And I cannot, for the life of me, imagine bringing both my parents with us in Manila… They will not like it there. And even if they will pretend to, I’d see right through them. No, I cannot bear thinking of them doing all the sacrifices for the sake of my career ambitions. Plus the expenses of living in Metropolitan Manila. I have been there several occasions and if it weren’t for company subsidies, I would have starved. Everything there is either for sale or for rent. Nothing’s for free except for noodles and beverage samples in the malls.. and they are not on a permanent basis. And then there are the credit card bills… The list is endless.

Being the positive thinker that I am, however, I know that there are always ways to make both ends meet. But thinking of Aleeza, I couldn’t just take the risk. Though I’d be a hypocrite if I’d say I didn’t consider it. But in the end, there’s always that nagging feeling that such an opportunity is not really for me. In my heart, I have fully understood and have accepted that a long time ago ---even before I have taken the exam. But my ego just isn’t used to fail and it has refused to accept that I am no longer the feisty-risk-taker it had lived with for so long.

I have had my share of disappointments and frustrations in both my personal and professional life. And each one contributed much to who I am and how I think today. There isn’t a single failure that led me to something I didn’t appreciate after awhile. All of them made me a better person in every aspect.

I believe that everything life has to offer is truly a treat.

Failure and success, all the same.